For Piper (Or Other Canines): A Human Change Management Program
Goal Setting: Pinpoint what you want from your human—more belly rubs, extra treats, or unlimited access to the outdoors. Remember, subtlety is overrated; the more dramatic the puppy eyes, the better.
Influencer Engagement: Charm your human into submission. Use a carefully curated mix of head tilts, tail wags, and play bows. Throw in a few strategic barks for good measure. If you really want to seal the deal, flash those “I’m the cutest thing ever” eyes that humans can’t resist.
Training & Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is key. When your human does something right—like taking you for an off-leash adventure or dedicating the afternoon to fetch—reward them immediately. Snuggle up when they’re trying to work (because what’s more important than you?) or give them a wet, slobbery kiss right on the face. If they’re slow to learn, don’t worry; humans are notoriously trainable with the right motivation.
Use Negative Reinforcement Sparingly: Sure, you can throw in a little disapproving growl or the infamous “I’m ignoring you” act if they step out of line. But tread carefully—too much, and they might cut off your snack supply or, heaven forbid, try to enforce “rules.”
Consistency: Humans need routine, even if they don’t know it. Keep nudging them towards your desired activities, like spontaneous park trips or extended couch cuddles. And if they’re not getting the hint, no shame in being a little sneaky—accidentally-on-purpose opening their TikTok to videos of dogs living their best lives might do the trick. You’re just helping them live up to their full potential.
Celebrate Success: Time to Pavlov your human. When they finally get it right, reward them with your cutest behaviors. Full-body wag? Check. Rolling over for belly scratches? Absolutely. And if they’re really on point, grab one of their old shoes and parade it around like it’s a trophy. Humans eat that stuff up.
With this foolproof plan, you’ll soon have your human perfectly trained, ready to follow you on all your shared adventures!
